To my future- I promise to take care of myself for you

This is just coincidental that I'm posting this at this time of the year. But well, you can consider this as my valentines post. 

To my future love, 

I have this painful lump grown in my armpit. It just happened during the weekend and you know what? I am so alarmed! I don't have any idea why I suddenly have this lump- and a painful one! :(  Thoughts about more serious condition just popped out and I really thought I'm gonna die at that moment (no, seriously I really thought of that) and prayed to God that I still haven't met you and this should not be happening! Call me dramatic or what, but that was really what I said. 

And then I went to the dictor today. Because I cannot stand the curiousity and just to be sure that this is not something serious. He said that the lump is an abcess and he prescribed me antibacterial meds. I was somehow relieved and hopeful that this will be treated with just oral meds. He explained that I have low immune system that's why I have that. 

And that statement had me- so my immune system is really that low that I have to take stronger antibiotics?  Am I really not taking care of myself? 

Maybe. I am not taking care of myself. 

At my age, i should not be having problems with regards to health. As what they say, 20's are the "golden age" of health. I should not be worried.. But why am I now? Why did I think of having a masectomy( yeah I've reached to that kind of thinking) and if ever you arrived after that.. i am not whole-physically. Youmight not enjoy me wholly. I know you would still love me. But i want you to have me completely.. With all those body parts and healthy. Because  i want you to have the best.  And that includes our health

Then I realized that I should be healthy. I promise to drink those vitamins. I promise to eat well- thought I am eating well. So that when the time that we will meet comes, we don't have to worry about those and our time together.. But i assure you,  in sickness and in health, we will stick together.  I pray for that. 

Let's be healthy! 

Xoxo, 
Elle